On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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