I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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