Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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