that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize