Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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