He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
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i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
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It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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