don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize