Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize