Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.

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  (401): apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat. http://tfl.nu/jsnf
  Replies (64) Good night (915) Bad night (15373) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on

  (1-310): View more from California

  I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his

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  (310): Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on (1-310): I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his http://tfl.nu/vdif
  Replies (30) Good night (5402) Bad night (726)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.

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  (219): she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade. http://tfl.nu/8ipj
  Replies (11) Good night (3230) Bad night (1285) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?

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  (949): I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping? http://tfl.nu/8mwq
  Replies (7) Good night (3274) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.

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  (408): Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something. http://tfl.nu/it4y
  Replies (15) Good night (2612) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them

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  (218): I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them http://tfl.nu/0wmz
  Replies (4) Good night (2150) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.

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  (707): Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty. http://tfl.nu/vu49
  Replies (8) Good night (3273) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.

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  (214): If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/n8v9
  Replies (6) Good night (2162) Bad night (772)
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  (510): View more from California

  in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.

  (925): View more from California

  he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!

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  (510): in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water. (925): he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy! http://tfl.nu/d51r
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (1494)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.

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  (210): Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night. http://tfl.nu/v64u
  Replies (7) Good night (1150) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?

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  (773): Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents? http://tfl.nu/nffm
  Replies (4) Good night (678) Bad night (368)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.

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  (646): I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands. http://tfl.nu/f9cd
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.

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  (904): You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/g46j
  Replies (6) Good night (1587) Bad night (643) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.

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  (920): Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms. http://tfl.nu/5i1h
  Replies (7) Good night (644) Bad night (260)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!

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  (832): DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!! http://tfl.nu/pv1p
  Replies (1) Good night (163) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt

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