the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
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This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
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It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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