Just fell off a train. Bad.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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