Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize