You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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