i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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