There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize