Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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