Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize