**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Welp...herpes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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