are you still at the devil's house?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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