break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize