the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
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I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
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My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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