cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize