We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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