dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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