dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
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oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
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I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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