I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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