Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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