i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
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She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
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after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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