My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize