I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just cropdusted the office
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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