I heard we made out
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sext me about skeletons
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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