they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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