my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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