i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
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