there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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