this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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