Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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