the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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