Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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