puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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