nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize