is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
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I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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