your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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