If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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