Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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