PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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