Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize