Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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