I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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