I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize